memories of ole

I find I am missing all of my fellow vanguardians, and this song makes it a lot easier. thanks al.

"I'm a new soul, I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take.
But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake

la la la la
la la la la la la
la la la la la la
la la la la
la la la"

favorite new song sung by Yael Naim, however I prefer it sung by Alaina with her oh so endearing and strange voice

a mistaken chuppah

Last night I went to church at Rock Harbor, and they have been doing this series on the Song of Solomon called Sex, Love, and God. Super cool and interesting since sex is rarely talked about in the church. Well I didn't go last week because I was at home unpacking boxes at my Mom's new condo...needless to say I was out of the loop this week...hence my story:

The message revolved around restoration and forgiveness all through God's presence in our lives. To symbolize God's presence there were chuppahs placed around the walls of the sanctuary and after taking communion and praying you could take a mini chuppah home to remember God's presence in your life this week. Sweet Idea...I want a mini chuppah to carry in my pocket. So I go take communion, give my tithe, pray, and then I look for the mini chuppah and on the ground I see these tiles. Well they looked like something I should pick up...I guess the mini chuppah can be a broken piece of tile. So I hold on to this tile for the rest of service, and in the car on the way home I realize my stupidity.

Chris and Dannae show me their mini chuppahs...which amazingly enough are little tiny pieces of white fabric. Huh? Why do I have a piece of broken tile? My friends start screaming and yelling that I have taken someone's brokenness...hold on what? apparently last week (when I was not there) everyone was supposed to pick up some broken tile and then this week they were supposed to lay it at the cross, symbolizing their brokenness. I picked up somebody's brokenness! So we decided to pray over it in the car, then we threw it out the window...I mean I can't hold on to someone else's brokenness.

All to say I didn't get my mini chuppah...

A day spent avoiding my paper...

So today I visited Target twice.

On my first trip my goal was to buy a gift for the girl that is taking over my floor for Catalina "Pass the Torch." I walked in knowing exactly what I wanted to buy for her...a candy dish, a journal, and some office supplies. Easier said than done. I spent at least an hour, walking around contemplating over prices, looking at items I did not need but thought that I did. I love to just walk around and look at all the pens. I try to figure out if I'm getting a good deal or if I'm going to be ripped off by Target. I can never make up my mind. I debated on whether or not I should get dry erase markers for the gift...they are so freakin' expensive (3.49). I picked up a few items, held on to them for the majority of my trip, eventually putting them down (as soon as I realized I was stupid for wanting them) right before I went to the cash register. All to say...I left with 2 journals, a pail from the dollar section I utilized as a candy dish, a Magnetic Magna Doodle, a Cherry Frost Icee, and a bag of popcorn. Don't ask.

My second trip was about 4 hours later after I put my entire gift together (which involved painting and mod podging and lots of just sitting there contemplating what I should do). Alaina wanted to go get gifts for her Pass the Torch as well! So I said, "Why Not?" We decided to go to the Target on Adams instead to see if they had a different journal that we both wanted (in the dollar spot). We spent about an hour and a half walking around looking at everything...and by everything, I mean we went to every single section in Target. I went to get one journal from the dollar spot and I walked away spending 55 dollars...what the? Let me list my buys for you: Sister Act/Sister Act 2 double feature, Grease/Grease 2 double feature, some fancy brown flip flops, life cereal, vanilla crunch granola, jello, and the journal.

Target and I have a love/hate relationship...it brings out my indecisiveness.

trip back to 7th grade...

Back in 7th grade when I had layer-less shoulder length hair, sparkling blue eyeshadow, a black miniskirt that I wore at least once a week, and platform black steve maddens...I loved Spice Girls!

Tonight some the RAs and I took a trip back in time and watched the wonder that is Spice World. (with Korean subtitles).

and we didn't finish it. somethings haven't changed. I still have a 10:30 bed time.

books I've read so far this junior year

Some for class, some for pleasure, some for knowledge:

• Summer by Karen Kingsbury
  
• If You Could See Me Now by Cecelia Ahern
• Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne
• The Color Purple by Alice Walker
• Walden by Henry David Thoreau
• Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell
• Big Boned by Meg Cabot
• Me and Mr. Darcy by Alexandra Potter
• Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
• Short Stories by Nathaniel Hawthorne
• To Own a Dragon by Donald Miller
• Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
• The Odyssey by Homer
• The Second Mrs. Darcy by Elizabeth Aston
• With Open Hands by Henry Nouwen
• Passing by Nella Larsen
• Butterfly's Way: Voices from the Haitian Dyaspora in the US
• Annie John by Jamaica Kincaid
• The Gangster We Are All Looking For by Le Thi Diem Thuy
• Sex God by Rob Bell
• Native Son by Richard Wright
• The Autobiography of Malcolm X
• Maru by Bessie Head
• Clear Light of Day by Anita Desai
• Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
• Blue Like Jazz by Don Miller
• Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin

best read: To Own A Dragon by Donald Miller

boxes and independent women (and BJ) living free

so I went home today. watched beauty and the geek, one tree hill, and american idol (all to say, I am a few brain cells short). my house is sold and my parents are moving into their separate places...which will leave me with 4 homes: vu, mom's, dad's, gma's (unnecessary). so I packed boxes upon boxes of stuff that I'm not sure I want but I have to keep because I'm a freak who doesn't throw anything out. Boxes for storage and boxes for each of my homes...I have so much crap, and I need all of it (or so I think).

on my return to VU...I enjoyed a tasty dinner in my absent RD's house with al, da, kristin, BJ, and destiny's child. some living free and dying hard occurred while on duty while all members in the box browsed the internet aimlessly instead of engaging in more meaningful work.

we lived free.

books I read this past summer

All for pleasure. none for brain stimulation.

• The Nanny Diaries by Emma Mclaughlin and Nicola Kraus
• PS, I Love You by Cecelia Ahern
• Love, Rosie by Celcelia Ahern
• As Sure as the Dawn by Francine Rivers
• An Echo in the Darkness by Francine Rivers
• A Voice in the Wind by Francine Rivers
• Grace in Thine Eyes by Liz Curtis Higgs
• Whence Came a Prince by Liz Curtis Higgs
• Fair is the Rose by Liz Curtis Higgs
• A Thorn in my Heart by Liz Curtis HIggs
• Mr. Darcy's Story by Janet Aylmer
• The Second Mrs. Darcy by Elizabeth Aston
• Ever After by Karen Kinsbury
• Sunrise by Karen Kingsbury
• Forever by Karen Kingsbury

Best read of Summer 07: PS, I Love You

Live Your Questions...

I would like to beg you dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language.

Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer. - Rainer Maria Rilke

my prayer for my girls...as the year is almost over

I gave my girls a journal at the beginning of the year...here is what it holds.

This journal is for your journey. There are 100 blank pages from start to finish. Maybe the stories haven't happened yet. Maybe you can't find the words. All I ask is that you open up your heart, your mind and your life. There are some that would put this journal aside, scared of the emptiness it holds. There are some that wouldn't want to search through these blank pages to find what God has for them. But that's not you. There are times, there are moments when you can't find the words. When the climb seems too long, too hard. When all you see is a dirty window. When you get lost in the details, the waiting, in the unknown. And you think, "I can't do that." I hope and pray there is always someone who tells you that you can. That nothing is impossible, that you're never alone. Promise me something. Fill this journal with your story. It doesn't have to be perfect, there are no expectations. It doesn't have to fit the standards of others. That's why its YOUR story. Open your hearts. Take your pen. This is where your book begins....Unwritten.

My prayer is that through this year they have learned how to live with arms wide open.

I can't tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn't fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren't small, but you're living them in a small way. I'm speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively.
2 Corinthians 6:11-13

This year is off to a good start...after being disconnected from any technology for a week, and then being put through training for another week, and then being left without any internet for another week...things are back to normal (well sort of). Classes have started and are as stressful as ever...but really hopeful as well.
The RAs that are on my staff are amazing. I love them already and we haven't even really known each other for a month yet. They're the friends I'm not sure I would have made, but I thank God that I did! This year is going to be an adventure.
I am uber excited about my floor this year too. The girls are tight and they're pretty much a blessing from God. I am thankful for everything that has been provided for me this year. I can't wait to finally get into the routine of everything so that I can start to figure this year out!! Peace out.