10.02.2008

out of control.

I missed my spanish conference course. I was studying and forgot.

I canceled a one-on-one with one of my girls and rescheduled it to next week because I had a doctor's appointment that I forgot about, and I get to the doctors and my appointment is for next week (the same time that I rescheduled my one-on-one to). I wasted gas and an hour of my day to have a sore arm from a flu shot that cost $25 that probably won't even help.

I have forgotten to text, call, and email my good friends back...I open up my phone and see the text or listen to the voicemail and I check my email inbox, and then I delete and space out and forget that people are trying to get a hold of me. I have no good reason.

I completely forgot about my one-on-one with Joel this morning and woke up a half hour later to my extremely loud alarm that had been going off for who knows how long. I have no excuse, I went to bed at 11:30pm and I have this one-on-one every week at the same time.

So I ask God to take control of my life and to bump me out of the way so that He can have complete control. This is not what I was expecting. I guess to give God control I have to be a complete mess...At least now I know God was listening.

(disclaimer: so if anyone plans something with me, I will probably forget that we planned it. I am not the same "on top of things Gma J" this week, I am completely out of control and flighty. So...just remind me a thousand times and take it up with God, cause I don't have control of it.)

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